Have you ever been riding in the passenger seat of a car and the person driving is being so unpredictable that you find yourself mashing your feet into the floorboard in the instinctive effort to stop or slow the ride?

Yeah, that’s me with my life right now. Kinda.

There’s a lot going on. Some challenging and some amazing. I don’t really want to talk about the challenging stuff too much. Stuff like the uncertainty caused by my company being purchased two months ago leaving me with no idea if or when I will be let go. And some other things. I’d rather talk about something amazing.

Cami, my daughter.

Cami turned 17 in June and I’m left breathless when I see the amazing young woman she is becoming. She went to youth camp a couple of weeks ago and when I saw her getting off the bus I was just floored by how grown up she looked. And now, this Sunday, she’s going on her first mission trip to Harlem in New York City. She’ll be working with inner city kids and doing all kinds of new things and I’m just a little overwhelmed thinking about her wing-spreading. The little girl I used to carry around the house like a football and take for midnight rides on the interstate to put her to sleep is on the verge of launching. Good things, yes, but part of my daddiness is stomping on the floorboards to make this slow down a bit.

There are so many things I wish I could go back and tell my younger self; nuggets of advice and wisdom like “always put family first” and “you are your little girl’s first hero” and “don’t be a self-centered a-hole”. But if wishes were horses we all could ride.

So, I reckon I have to do my best to go from here. She’s a really good kid, my girl. She’s about the most kind and compassionate person I know and may have ever met. (I know that sounds like Dad-bias but you meet her and I dare you argue.) She has her quirks too but even so, she’s amazing. Someday I’m gonna be old and she’ll have a family all her own. But for now, she’s here and the cement of the foundation of our relationship is beginning to cure. I feel at times I haven’t prayed for her enough or played with her enough. So while she’s here, I’m gonna try to take my own advice and I’m also gonna keep praying for her (and the man who will some day marry her) and I’m gonna keep playing with her.